Friday, June 18, 2010

Breaking the Rules Blogfest

Hi all. I feel like bleh. Stomach virus. Meh. Anyway, I didn't really have any first drafts to post, so I'm putting up an old poem from high school. It fails, lol. But back then I thought it was amazing, so there you go. Anyway, here we go:

Faded halo hung askew
Over the right eye of the girl in the wrong
Blocking the view of a small-minded town's high school watering hole
The cafeteria, to be more precise.
Smiles came at her from every corner in the room, most forced or too sweet.
She struggled not to glare back
But couldn't form a smile. 
Too many demons
Too many dark shadows called her name.
How could so much have gone wrong?
She had been happy-
Oh, how she had been happy
But she tried to push the limit
Tried to take everything one step further
One step further would up being just over the edge.
She had meant well, honestly she had
Closing her eyes, she sought refuge in the arms of another
The only one who was always there
In high school, a best friend is a miracle.
For her, her friend was the only thing she had left.
More than a miracle. A gift from above.
She struggled through a sadness induced fog as she contemplated her options.
There weren't many. 
But she wasn't giving up, God willing.
She held her head high, and lifted her chin slightly
Fighting off the shame.
She pulled herself together, took three deep breaths
Was almost functional enough to release her friend from her vice-like hug
But then he walked in
Her mistake
And she crumpled apart all over again.

Well, that wasn't too painful now, was it? I had to fight myself from editing this as I typed it up. Oh, well. Be sure to check out the other entries at Elizabeth's blog here.

<3 Kelsey Leigh


  1. I liked it. Of course I'm no poet, but it was good.

  2. I like it, too, but it didn't really read like a poem...more of a flash-fiction-type thing...

  3. Yeah, what Tessa said--flash-fiction-y...I'm intrigued!

  4. Wow, I write my poetry like that. Raw, hard and straight from my heart in my journal. I can feel your pain. I hope this didn't expend too long into your high school years. :( Friends are so valuable and good ones are hard to find.

    Thank you so much for participating in my blogfest! Sorry I couldn't get to your entry sooner, my hubby gave me the morning off and afternoon so that I can edit my WIP--so excited to finally have some peace to do this without them kidlets!! ;)

  5. I liked it! It was flash fiction-y, but I like that in poetry. It took me back to the growing pains of high school...Good times, bad worth remembering.

  6. I don't read much poetry but this, I have to agree with the other commenters, reads much more like flash fiction. I like the raw feel of it. It's like your baring your soul... so while it may not be edited or perfect, you can feel the emotion and that's great news!

  7. Not bad. I don't venture in the story form of poetry, but this has some good lines to it. I remember how bad my old poetry was, "had to rhyme" type and this is so much better than my old crap. lol

    Nice to see a poem entered in the blogfest.

  8. I should go find my old poetry book from high school. I have no idea where it could be but it might have some good material.
    Fun stuff!